It’s the beginning of 2007. Pictures of a visibly pained, angry and distressed Britney Spears, walking into a hair studio, shaving of her hair is distributed all over the world. A public meltdown. A young woman falling apart and instead of reaching her a hand the world was laughing. Judging. Pointing fingers. “Hysteric, woman”! As if she was the crazy one.
I was not a Britney fan before that happened, but I think it hasn’t been another moment in pop-history where I felt as connected to someone as I did then.
That anger. That pain. Wearing trashy clothes, shaving my hair off. Not pleasing anyone. Not pleasing men. I carried those feelings in me. I understood Britney. I saw myself in her. Being a woman, mostly felt like a trap. And I was angry at the world for it.
As a kid I was sweet, and played nice. Pretty much all the time. I was very easy to handle and tried to “fit in” as best as I could, being a little brown girl in Sweden.
woman sit down, play nice and are there for everybody else
The belief I created was that; woman sit down, play nice and are there for everybody else and men are there for themselves and can do pretty much whatever they want. I would submissively take the pointers, to stay loved and cared for, but I would experience a discomfort in doing so, and I felt like I was losing myself. Frustration build up in me.
And this is where it just snapped in me. This is what made me angry as a child and it is what makes me furious ‘til this day.
“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”
Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. Wrote in his famous “I have a dream” speech from 1963
These frames we build. These stereotypes. This cage we try to put all humans in. It makes me angry. To me it’s simply so much greatness wasted. If we are not allowed to fully grow, how can we evolve? “Judged by the content of their character” as Rev. King so perfectly put. If we must judge then at least judge for something that can bring us forward.
I want that to be reality. I want all of us to feel like we are living aligned, meaningful lives. And honestly, I think that the future of our species depends on that shift.
My anger pointed me towards my mission.
Trying to be a force for humanity, for change. Now anger is my fuel, my drive and my motivation. Anger helps me. Gives me strengths and pushes me to be who I want to be. Anger is my friend. Showing me the way.