We picked effortless and ease, because first of all, we thought it was necessary after all the things that’s been going on in the world. Secondly, because we thought it would be easy. HA HA! Hilarious.
In the end it turns out it’s one of my most necessary needs to fulfil, but also the one I have the most trouble with doing so.
And ones again I take with me, how connected every need and feeling can be, if we take the time to reflect on them. It’s almost crazy, looking at the coaching and mental health industry, but what we need to learn before anything else is that. Sit. Still.
There really isn’t anything more powerful in personal development and getting closer to your inner truth than that and no, it’s not an easy quick fix, but undoubtedly one of the most sustainable methods there is and, the most beautiful part is that anyone can do it, with some practice.
Of course, if you suffered trauma, you need support doing this. And sometimes you need to do it to realize you suffered trauma.
Another thing that became clear to me during this hey me – journey, regarding my need for effortlessness and ease is this:
First of all this is something I have been literally chasing all my life. As someone who started working in my early teens – I quickly reaped benefits from being in the “state of doing”, meaning earning cash and having the freedom of not having to ask my parents for money for things I wanted to do. I also realized that I early started to identify a lot with what I did and already in my childhood this is how I became validated and felt worthy.
WORTHINESS IS NEVER AN OUTSIDE THING
With the job I have now, that is quite a devastating realization, as real worthiness is never an outside thing and it actually comes from, yes, you guessed it, effortlessness and ease. The act of non-doing is the only true place we can detach from expectations from outside and ourselves and be free.
But I don’t want to live a life completely detached, then I could become a monk. I want some middle-thingy as I love the connections I make with many different people. So, complete non-doing and the complete absence of expectations is probably not what I need. At least not in this life;).
Right now I am in a very transformative (read chaotic) place in my life. I switched countries to be close to an ill parent and I am currently stating over and during this time this is what was the most clear:
Safety and effortlessness are super connected within me and right now I don’t really feel that on many levels. So, one could say that “there is a need in the way of my need”. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
This entire experience though has made me even more certain regarding that ease and effortlessness are one of the most important needs there are.
We get sick from burn-out and depression, because we don’t allow ourselves to “not do”.
So, to conclude: As a person I am someone always looking for joy and fun, but, I had letted go of that part a lot, labeling it as “not a priority”. This journey, made me aware of that. Truth is that I am in deep need of a chill-pill! And now I’ve learned that it’s actually one of the most important needs there are – especially in this pushing and achieving culture we are living. So, I take time to practice the non-doing and I feel it brought me closer to me and that’s exactly where I need to be.
Photos from Pixabay.com